I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
