she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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