Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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