Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
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I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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