He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize