Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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