I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize