I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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