i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
