Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
