now i know why i became what i already was.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
