I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
