She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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