Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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