So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you traded sex for a burrito?
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
