Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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