I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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