we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
