Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence