found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
