Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning.. http://tfl.nu/4rfg
  Replies (16) Good night (4755) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads... http://tfl.nu/avzw
  Replies (38) Good night (859) Bad night (14812)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/hv59
  Replies (5) Good night (817) Bad night (3345)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas http://tfl.nu/i2gq
  Replies (13) Good night (1545) Bad night (3386)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?

  (1-204): View more from Manitoba

  When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends? (1-204): When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why? (204): I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well... http://tfl.nu/o1jd
  Replies (21) Good night (7679) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin http://tfl.nu/pqe0
  Replies (26) Good night (5130) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass http://tfl.nu/a9ff
  Replies (12) Good night (3910) Bad night (1013)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was. http://tfl.nu/pkp0
  Replies (9) Good night (2092) Bad night (1278)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit. http://tfl.nu/a0hw
  Replies (4) Good night (2502) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were... http://tfl.nu/299s
  Replies (8) Good night (3185) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (505): Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play. http://tfl.nu/a8rl
  Replies (6) Good night (436) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals. http://tfl.nu/uk0n
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (1333)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt http://tfl.nu/5q8i
  Replies (5) Good night (439) Bad night (521)
• Favorite

  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (321): Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in! http://tfl.nu/gz21
  Replies (1) Good night (489) Bad night (293)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover. http://tfl.nu/e91a
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (291)

Randomize