Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
