It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
