So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize