so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
True strength comes from lack of pants
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
