im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
