There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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