Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
21 Disappointing Confessions From Teenage Fathers
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??