if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just had sex on a roof
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize