absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
