we were pretty classy up until the second keg
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
