I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
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There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Mom said you looked used
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
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This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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