You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
