Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
