I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
