i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
my sisters under your porch take her home
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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