i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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