Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I know her cup size but not her name....
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