the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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