Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
There r osticjed everywhere
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
