Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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