plz talk dirty to me
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
