My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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