So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize