hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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