so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
