I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
