Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
