Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
accomplished twins. life is a go
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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