he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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