If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
