So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
