im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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