i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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