I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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