Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
